I am appalled

March 24, 2009

Anyone who reads Foer’s novel, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, and has even just the smallest bit of intelligence (literary or not) or depth within themselves will be able to grasp the depth of the novel and feel some strain of deep emotion, and may even spark a tear or two, while reading it.  Obviously if you think that the main character, Oscar, is a “whiny, masochistic, bitch” you, yourself, have quite a few personal issues to come to realization with.  Novels aren’t always meant to be “pretty” and have perfect characters living in a perfect world.  Foer does just the opposite.  He creates Oscar, a real and imaginative young child and places him in the aftermath of a crisis so real that many people still cannot even fathom.  September 11th.  What is a young boy faced with the death of his own father supposed to do?  How is he supposedto act? Fiction would have either had Oscar moving on with his life and becoming an amazingly successful young man living life to the fullest and some cliche shit like that or the complete opposite:  making Oscar a suicidal nut case who doesn’t speak and is so much affected by his father’s death that he cannot function.  Foer is so in touch with reality that he takes neutral and realistic side to all of this. 

I guess what I’m trying to say with all of this is that I am royally pissed off that someone seriously had the guts to post on my Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close quote post that they pretty much hated the novel.  And just to give you an idea of this girl’s intelligence level, instead of coming right out and saying “fuck this book”, she instead says “eff this book”.  No use beating around the bush.  Fucking people these days.  So ignorant of a good novel.



March 18, 2009

Stupid me for thinking that the last semester of my senior year would be easy at all.  On the contrary, it’s still quite difficult.  And what makes it even more difficult is my apathetic attitude towards school.  It’s nearly impossible to stay on top of things when all I can focus on is the end.  Last night, I decided to do something that I’ve never done before.  I gathered all of my old diaries including the very first one I had, and read through all of my entries.  I also went back through all of my livejournal entries, and then my wordpress entries since the beginning of August.  It’s amazing to see the transition from typical 3rd grade girly girl to a not so typical 17 year old senior.  Up until about 6th grade, pretty much all of my diary entries were solely about boys and all of the crushes I had.  It almost made me ashamed to think that I was once like that, but the way I see it now…is at least I outgrew the phase then instead of still going through it now.  It wasn’t until about 8th grade that I began to see the true change in myself.  My music taste was changing, I was suddenly writing about my views on politics, art, society, and books (granted it was just a start…nothing too deep).  It made me sad to reread my freshman and sophomore entries that were posted online.  Most of them were sad and focused on how “empty” I was feeling and how I hadn’t found my place in the world yet.  I still feel a tad bit displaced, but I’m finally becoming comfortable in my own skin.  I feel proud of the person I’ve become and who I am still becoming. 


P.S.  I have the most wondeful boy in the world.  I don’t write about him much because I prefer to keep it secret.  He calls me beautiful and he writes me letters.  He took me out to eat sushi and even watched P.S.  I Love You with me and actually liked it.  He wrote a silly song about me and sang it to me.  He likes me for who I am and it still perplexes me that anyone could actually do that. 

Au Revoir.

full moons

March 12, 2009

I always become a tad bit frazzled at the start of a new time change, but eventually I learn to love different things about them.  With the last time change, I enjoyed waking up and the sun was just beginning to rise, and everything was dim, and slowly I was able to watch the trees and all other nature become illuminated with light.  Now, I wake up to complete darkness, and I’m already in my first hour class before I can witness this beauty.  I do, however, like how the sun shines a little bit longer now.  I feel more awake and alert with my surroundings. 
Anyhow, life is running about as smoothy as it could (not to say there aren’t any rocks in the way, but I manage).  There are so many things to look forward to in the upcoming months.  Friday, Clayton comes to visit and I couldn’t be more thrilled.  I feel a since of stability with him, and it feels right to me, so I’m going to keep him around as long as I can.  My cousin, Jaysun, is getting married on April 14th, and I’ve got my first date to a wedding.  Spring Break comes after that.  The Celebrate Life performance is on April 22nd and 24th.  Prom is the 25th.  The next week are my final exams (the last high school exams I’ll ever have to take!!!)  And…May 8th, I will finally graduate.  I say finally because highschool has felt like forever.  I’m just so excited for it all.  I’m excited for college and to feel that I’m finally on my way towards something good.  I can begin chasing my dreams and feeling fully fulfilled (f’s much?!) 

I’m completely happy right now.  I’ve come a long way since my first post on here.  I’m feeling pretty damn good about myself now. 

Au Revoir.

fuck myself for not keeping up with this thing.  there’s been way too much going on to update either.  i guess i just haven’t had a single second to do something for myself in the past few weeks.  but on a high note, graduation is right around the corner.

by tomorrow i have to: finish reading macbeth, study for my retake math test (since I have an F in the class..yes..an F), study 15 pages of world history notes on Midieval ages, study for my huge physcics test, and finish a 5 page psychology study guide. 

there is not enough hours in a day, and i do not have enough will power to study for it all.  fuck senioritis.