December 19, 2012
Christmas time always gets me in these moods. They aren’t particularly bad moods, but they’re not good ones either. This time of year just has me so damn contemplative about every little thing. I guess because it’s the time of year where I have to face my family all at once for an extended period of time. Usually our family gatherings don’t include everyone because that’s impossible. I see family I haven’t seen since last Christmas and it’s always so strange. No one really knows each other and that bothers me so much. I’m forced to dress up in clothes that make me look like some politician’s wife or something. I have to make sure none of my tattoos are visible and I have to take out my nose ring. I have also been told this Christmas that I am not allowed to tell people where I work. God forbid my family find out I work at a head shop and sell pipes, bongs, detox, sex toys, etc to people. It’s just incredibly annoying how fake I have to be during Christmas. I think that’s what makes it the worst. I’m not able to express how I feel or even much be myself at all for fear that my family actually know who I really am. I’ve learned to just stay quiet during these things and only talk when I’m talked to. All I can say is thank god for portable vaporizers because that’s how I’m making it through this Xmas.